Salad is always healthy

God, I'm so bad at this blogging thing. I keep cooking things, and thinking about blogging them, but then I realise that all the cooking I've done is open a few tins and use a packet of cheese, and everyone thinks it's great. When really that's because it's full of cheese. Which is great, obviously, but doesn't exactly take much skill.

The last few days I haven't been feeling too great. I've had a bit of a cold, and haven't been sleeping too well, and in general not been able to enjoy the sunshine as much as I'd like to. Normally when feeling like this I'd settle down with cheese on toast and chips in a sandwich, but I'm attending a wedding on Saturday in a dress that is Very Tight. This Very Tight dress basically means that my carb consumption has to go way down (I only ate 4 pitta breads yesterday, for example, because I have enormous self control). So I felt like eating something comforting, nourishing, but also delicious and very easy. This salad is basically just a variation on something I often do when lazy, throw a load of vegetables in the oven, cover with cheese, and enjoy. This time I added bacon too.

I am excellent at dieting.

Butternut Squash Salad

1 large buttnut squash
1/2 garlic bulb
2 red chillis, chopped and de-seeded (or not, I never de-seed, I'm an animal)
1 red onion, finely sliced
4 rashers bacon
1 packet of feta (you should probably use less than a whole packet. Whatevs. See above)
Some mixed leaves (I just used an Italian style thing that was in the fridge. This would also work really well with rocket or baby spinach).
Some olive oil
 A squidge of honey
A teaspoon of balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper
Some sunflower seeds

Preheat the oven to 180. Chop the squash into bite-size pieces. Place in an oven dish with the chilli scatter the whole garlic cloves. Drizzle over some oil and season. Roast for 40 minutes, or until the squash is tender.
Meanwhile, heat some oil in a pan and cook the bacon on a low heat. This takes about 15 minutes, or longer. If you paid attention to my previous blog, I like to cook things slowly. It'll be nicer if you do, trust me.
Mix your dressing. This is just a dressing I like to throw on everything. At the moment it's olive oil, balsamic vinegar, honey, salt and pepper.
Cut the feta you're using into chunks.
Cut the bacon into pieces
When everything is cooked, mix all your ingredients, including the onion and leaves, and sprinkle the seeds on top.

Have it in the sun with a glass of wine.

Now you'll have to excuse me, and the shoddy nature of this post, I have to spend the next 12 hours panicking about being in an airport.

Bangers and mash

Excuse the terrible quality of this picture. This tumblr has certainly struck a nerve. I wasn't intending on blogging this very simple meal, but I enjoyed it so much that I felt I had to. That's how I roll. I'm not a professional you know.

Quanities are very approximate. Most people know how many sausages and potatoes are required per person. I don't, but I'm terrible at that sort of thing. Most of the ingredients were just what I had in the house, feel free to omit or subsitute at your leisure. It's sausages and mash like, it's not rocket science, or baking.

I divided this up into sections, instead of doing it in the order I cooked it, because it was easier and less confusing. There you go.

Bangers and mash with honey mustard roasted parsnips and onion gravy for 2 with leftovers

Olive oil
4 large parsnips
A squeeze of honey
1tablespoon of wholegrain mustard
3-4 sausages per person
1 large brown onion (I threw in 2 shallots too, don't bother unless you have them to hand)
1 clove of garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon of flour
400ml stock (I used beef this time, it's good and meaty)
About 4 large potatoes
1/3 of a mug of warmed milk
1 tablespoon creme fraiche
2 chopped spring onions
Plenty of black pepper

Parsnips
Firstly, chop the parsnips. You can parboil them for a couple of minutes if you like, I wouldn't bother. Put them in an oven dish large enough so they're not on top of each other. Drizzle with some oil, the honey and the mustard, and roast at 190 degrees for 45 minutes (less if you bothered par-boiling, even though I told you not to)
Sausages
 IMMEDIATELY after this, heat some oil in a frying pan, and fry the sausages at THE VERY LOWEST HEAT your hob will allow. This will take forever. However long you think it will take, triple it. I like my sausages cooked for, at the very least, 40 minutes. This makes them sticky and renders the fat nicely. If you're cooking with fat sausages, it'll take even longer. Fat sausages are not approved of in our household, however, so I can't comment on cooking times. Towards the end, if everything else is getting cold, you can turn it up to a medium heat, but only to brown them so you don't pass out from hunger. This is the most important thing I will probably ever tell you.
Gravy
Chop the onion, and fry at in a saucepan at a very low heat with the garlic until it's tender and translucent. Coat with the flour and stir for a couple of minutes. Add the stock, and continue to cook at a low heat until it's reduced to a thick gravy.
Mash
Peel and boil your potatoes until they're tender. Drain, and then place back on the heat for a minute to dry them out a bit. Pour in the warm milk and creme fraiche, and start to mash. Mash and mash and mash until your arm falls off, it's totally worth it. Mix the chopped spring onions with the mash. Season if you want.

Pile everything on top of each other. Enjoy. Lovely on a cold winter night. Obviously I'm publishing this now that it's gotten warm again, but don't be fooled. You'll be shivering in a fortnight, and wishing you had this in front of you. But you won't because everyone's already running around London in SHORTS, and TFL are posting this sort of nonsense, so everyone has probably already died of hypothermia.

Teasing

I'm sure all three of you that read this (and the Russian spammers - Здравствуйте!) don't actually read for the recipes, but for the hilarious insights into my frequently shambolic life. Well don't worry, there'll be plenty more of that soon, as I am always looking into new ways to mess up traditional recipes to suit what the Cooperative dictates I can buy and the limitations of having no kitchen equipment. Until then, here's a picture of a delicious snack I made today before BAKING some bread. I haven't tasted the bread yet, so I can't claim that it was a success, but this was one. It's basically just ryvita with salsa, sliced avocado, jalepenos, low fat creme fraiche and some coriander. It was a taste of relatively healthy Mexico, and it got me through 15 minutes of painful kneading. I enjoyed it loads.
And yes, I have already taken a bite. I am terribly greedy, remember.